Saturday, October 12, 2019

For the love of Jared

This following 2005 article in Kansas City Sports & Fitness is one of the most inspirational stories I’ve ever written in nearly 25 years in the writing profession. It was about a wonderful man named Tom Coones, who competed in the Kansas City Mid-America chapter of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Team in Training. Tom was the first person in the Mid-America chapter to win the TNT Triple Crown award. At the time of our interview, Coones, who first ran the New York City Marathon in 1991, had participated in 10 events (eight marathons and two triathlons) and was set to complete the 100-mile bike ride in June in Nevada.

He competed for his son Jared, who was diagnosed at age 2 with acute lymphocytic leukemia (ALL). He was devastated after hearing the diagnosis, but decided to channel his tears and heartbreak into a positive channel and compete with The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Team in Training. At the time of this story, Tom had raised about $100,000 since 1991.

Sadly and painfully, Jared died on Oct. 5, 1998. But his dad persisted in his fight and continued to compete in the program. He told me he runs “in memory of my son,” but I wrote  he “also competes for the 700,000 Americans living with blood cancer, including the local “Honored Patients” he’s matched up with. It is Jared, though, who provides his greatest inspiration.”

I have so much respect and true admiration for Tom Coones, who pushed the limits of his body and the human spirit to compete for his son and all those living with blood cancer. He competed each time wearing Jared’s picture button by his heart.

Here’s how I ended the story:

“What’s really neat is people will come up to me and say, ‘You’re Jared’s dad,’” Coones said.  “That’s the best thing anybody can say to me.”

Tom, you are my hero and a hero to so many people, including Jared, whose spirit and soul will live with you forever. I encourage many more people to get involved with the The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Team in Training. It is an amazing program that is working to save countless lives. 

I was deeply humbled and flattered when Tom called me up after the story came out and left a heartfelt phone message:

"I wanted to let you know that I thought you did a great job with the article. My wife even commented how nice a job of telling our story you did. Thank you for helping us spread the word out about TNT. Hopefully we will get some participants from the article. Thanks again for taking the time to put the article together. I hope our paths cross again. Warmest regards, Tom.”

I appreciated Tom’s kindness so much. Here is that 2005 story in Kansas City Sports & Fitness on Tom Coones.

...


“Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.”
--Morrie Schwartz in Mitch Albom’s runaway bestseller Tuesdays with Morrie.

Sept. 28, 1990. 
 
For Tom Coones, this date is indelibly etched in his mind. That’s when his 2-year-old son Jared was diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia (ALL). Coones was immediately overwhelmed with tears and heartache.

“I think the emotions were just shock and disbelief,” Coones recalled recently from his home in Olathe. “It was devastation. My first thought was that he was going to die soon. It was hard to come to grips with that.”

However, his devastation and sadness quickly turned to hope once he found out that over 80 percent of children with ALL survive. Coones and his wife, Jayne, hoped and prayed that Jared would be one of these kids. 

About six months later, Coones read a company newsletter about The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Team in Training (Kansas City Mid-America chapter) looking for people to train and run the New York City Marathon in November 1991. TNT is the world's largest endurance sports training program, and the leading fundraising campaign of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Participants receive personalized coaching and training to run or walk a marathon, cycle a century bike ride or do a triathlon. In return, the competitors raise funds to invest in research to find cures for blood cancers and help improve the lives of patients and their families.

Coones, 45, felt getting involved was the perfect way to help Jared and hopefully find a cure for leukemia. So he ran the New York City Marathon in 1991, and hasn’t stopped running and competing since. Nearly 14 years later, Coones has participated in 10 events (eight marathons and two triathlons), and when he completes the 100-mile bike ride June 5th in Lake Tahoe, Nev., Coones will become the first person in the Mid-America chapter to win the TNT Triple Crown award.

“That’s kind of special,” said Coones, who has raised about $100,000 since 1991.

And he does it all with love for Jared, who battled valiantly for eight years before his death on Oct. 5, 1998. While he runs “in memory of my son,” Coones also competes for the 700,000 Americans living with blood cancer, including the local “Honored Patients” he’s matched up with. It is Jared, though, who provides his greatest inspiration.  

Whenever he hits the “wall” in training or competing in a marathon or triathlon, he thinks of his late son. He remembers the day Jared was diagnosed, his fearless courage, his magnetic smile, his laugh, his love for pumpkins and total zest for life. Coones touches the button by his heart with a picture of Jared and recalls his pride and joy who never complained once about his chemotherapy treatment, even when undergoing a bone marrow transplant in 1994. He’ll close his eyes, call Jared’s name out loud, and say a prayer and ask him “for some strength and courage to keep moving.”
 
 So Coones takes that next step. He pushes on. He celebrates Jared’s life and memory.
 
“I couldn’t even begin to compare any kind of physical discomfort of training or even doing one of these events to what Jared went through, and all patients, what they go through,” Coones said. “If it somehow helps maybe pushing us towards getting a cure, I can do that. That’s my contribution.”

Coones, help desk manager for Yellow Roadway Technologies, urges others to join the TNT family and become part of the mission and change their lives forever. Kristen Johnson, development director for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Mid-America chapter, feels blessed to have such a caring person as Coones contributing to the cause.

“He’s a real unique individual,” Johnson said. “He’s an amazing human being.”

Coones, who has made a lifetime of friends training and competing these past 14 years with TNT, admits he questioned himself about doing another TNT event after Jared passed away. When Jared was alive, Coones said running a marathon affirmed that his son “was doing good and continuing to stay strong.”  He didn’t know if he had the strength or will to compete in the marathon in San Diego without Jared, just a year after his death.

But he did.  
 
“My wife and I had talked about it, and we knew that Jared would want me to keep going and to know that our work isn’t done yet until we can stop this disease,” Coones said softly.

He now paused for a few moments; his voice began to crack. “Going back in 1999 with him in heaven was hard,” Coones said.

Life hasn’t exactly been easy for Coones these past three years, either. Jayne, who walked a marathon in Oregon for TNT in 1997, has had a “pretty challenging ride herself” since being diagnosed with breast cancer in 2002. Jayne has had two recurrences of the cancer since then, and currently goes in for treatment once a week. Coones said his wife showed the same strength and courage in fighting cancer that Jared had.
 
 “In some ways, he really prepared us for this battle and journey that Jayne’s in right now, just everything that he went through,” Coones said.

Coones, who never dreamed of running a marathon before joining TNT, uses his training as a way of dealing with these tough times. He has greatly improved his life in how he copes with his emotions.

“When Jared was going through his fight, having that physical outlet probably helped me more than I realized,” said Coones, who has two kids: Meghan, 15, and John Jared, 4. “It kept me strong when I needed to be there for my family. I think I’ve found that to be true now as I’ve continued.”

With all that Coones and his family have endured, he views each day as a great gift. Coones has learned to savor the moment, to enjoy each breath, and live each day with hope and wonder.

 “Overall, I think, without a doubt, it’s really increased my perspective and strengthened my faith, and just helped me appreciate what’s important in life — your family, your friends, and relationships you develop,” Coones said. “That’s really what it’s about.”

After completing the 100-mile bike ride in Lake Tahoe, Coones is aiming to tackle the New York City Marathon again next year. After all, he promised Jared many years ago that they’d both run in New York when he turned 18, which is the required minimum age to run the New York City Marathon.

“That was my goal, my dream,” Coones said.

 So Coones plans to be in New York and run for Jared, who would have been 18 next year. He could have it no other way. And he’s not going to hold back and stop there. Not now, not after all these years. He has to keep running, biking, and swimming. Coones wants to continue Jared’s legacy and spirit, and keep stretching the unlimited possibilities of the mind.

“I can’t imagine not doing it,” he said. “Until we get to that point where we can say we’ve stopped the disease or there’s a cure, maybe that will be the time when I can stop participating. It still helps me. Even after six years since his passing, he’s still a big part of my life. I know he’d want me to be out there.”

And each time he competes, Coones will wear Jared’s picture button by his heart, so he’s never too far away.

“What’s really neat is people will come up to me and  say, ‘You’re Jared’s dad,’” Coones said.  “That’s the best thing anybody can say to me.”


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