Big Sister Betsey Fisher made a profound impact on her Little Sister's life

I had the great fortune and privilege to write profiles on Big Brothers and Big Sisters in the Lawrence Journal-World from 1995-99. These were some of the most poignant and compelling stories I wrote when I featured volunteers in the community. I loved getting to know the Big Brothers and Big Sisters and exploring their relationship with their Little Brothers and Sisters. They really opened up to me and shared their stories.

I even got the chance to interview my childhood friend, who was the first Big Brother Big Sister match in Douglas County. But my favorite profile I ever wrote on Big Brothers Big Sisters was Betsey Fisher in 1999. She was a remarkable and caring woman who invited me over to her home for a very special interview. Her Little Sister, Kit Kat, was there and I asked her a few questions as well.  Kit Kat was very shy and quiet, but a lovely girl with a great role model in Betsey.

In this article, I explored their relationship and the love the two had with each other. After 20 years, I still have vivid memories of my interview with Betsey and Kit Kat. It was truly one of my most enjoyable interviews I’ve ever done in 25 years in the writing profession.

Kit Kat, who was 10 years old at the time and had to overcome homelessness with her family when she was first matched with Betsey, would now be 30. I wonder how her life has turned out. I believe with Betsey Fisher serving as a great role model and wonderful Big Sister, Kit Kat’s life has likely turned out quite well.

I urge many people to get involved with Big Brothers Big Sisters and help make a huge and profound impact on a young person’s life just like Betsey Fisher did with Kit Kat.

Here is that story from 1999 in the Journal-World.

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Betsey Fisher and her Little Sister, Kit Kat, have just returned home at 6:30 p.m. this early Friday evening from grocery shopping and posting Big Brothers/Big Sisters of Douglas County flyers up around town.  

 

Fisher sits relaxed at the kitchen table and reads one of the red flyers. She softly says the words as the agency’s mission comes alive:

“Become a Big Brother or Big Sister! The Impact is Phenomenal. The Commitment is Simple.”

Fisher has indeed made a phenomenal impact on Kit Kat’s life since being matched together three and a half years ago. She’s tried to give her some of the fun and educational opportunities that she experienced growing up in Tulsa, such as going to plays, musicals, and museums. In the process, the two have formed a lasting friendship, and Kit Kat’s grades and social skills have significantly improved. 

They are both currently excited about attending Brigadoon later this evening at the Lied Center. Kit Kat, 10, now walks into the living room and watches television, while Fisher’s two beloved dogs and “babies,” Andi and Oliver, meander in and out of the kitchen looking for action.  

Fisher, who has worked as a flight attendant for TWA the past 33 years, talks about how much Kit Kat has actually changed her life and opened up a whole new world.  

“When we were first matched, they (Kit Kat’s family) were homeless,” Fisher said. “I always took for granted that I’d have a roof over my head. If I can do anything to help her, that will all be worth it.”

Fisher describes a poignant experience of taking Kit Kat to her parents’ home in Tulsa three years ago. As they were walking down the long winding staircase, Kit Kat looked up at Fisher and asked wistfully, “Is this kind of like a hotel?" Big Sister replied, “No, not really. It’s a private home.”

Kit Kat has now  become a “big part” of Fisher’s home and family in Lawrence.

“I can just say, ‘Kit Kat, will you do something?’ She knows exactly where to go and how to do it. She’s growing up.”

 

Kit Kat, who is wearing a stunning purple dress and gold necklace draped elegantly around her neck, soon takes a television break and goes into the kitchen and sits on Fisher’s lap.  

“She’s got the prettiest hair,” said Fisher, affectionately stroking Kit Kat’s pony tail. “It’s thick too. She’s got more hair right here in this pony tail than I have on my head. She is so lucky.”

Kit Kat immediately flashes a shy smile. Asked what her Big Sister means to her, she quietly says, “A lot.” Fisher proudly gazes down at Kit Kat, who struggles to elaborate on the words and feelings alive in her heart. As 15 seconds pass with silence, Kit Kat adds, “She’s nice and likes doing stuff that l like doing too.”

Fisher thinks the world of her Little Sister as well, and believes she can accomplish greatness in her life if she continues working hard in school.

“She’s a sweet little thing,” Fisher said. “I talk about her all the time.”  

Dick Harp led KU to the national championship in 1952 with his pressing defense and revolutionized college basketball

Kansas basketball had grand expectations entering the 1951-52 season. After all, this was the year that coach Phog Allen said KU would win the national championship and go to the Olympics when he recruited Bob Kenney, Bill Hougland, Bill Lienhard and Clyde Lovellete.

KU roared out and won its first 13 games and looked like a potential championship team. Lovellete had changed his game and was passing the ball more, getting his teammates involved. Lienhard spoke to Jayhawk Insider in 2000 about the transformation in Lovellete’s game.

“I think they (coaches) finally convinced Clyde that he had to play team ball and pass the ball to the other players,” Lienhard said. “When he started doing that and when we started working really as a team, it made a big difference. We finally jelled. … It paid off for him, because when he started throwing the ball to the other players, the defenders couldn’t stay on him all the time. They had to guard somebody else.”

While there was great chemistry on the team, adversity struck the Jayhawks when they lost two consecutive road games at Kansas State (81-64) and Oklahoma State (49-45).

Suddenly, KU’s dream of a national championship season hit a roadblock and Allen knew he needed to make a change. So the following morning after the OSU loss, he called his brilliant assistant coach Dick Harp into his office.

“(Phog) said, ‘Dick do something with the defense,’” Bill Mayer recalled in the 2008 Kansas Basketball Legacy of Coaches DVD. “’I don’t know what you’re going to do, but do something with the defense.'” 

An enlightened student of the game, Harp went to work and devised a defensive scheme which would spearhead KU to the national title and eventually revolutionize the game.

Dean Smith, a reserve guard on the 1952 team and later a legendary coach at North Carolina, talked about that defense in his 1999 autobiography, “A Coach’s Life.”

“That team employed a great innovation: a pressure man-to-man defense that absolutlely smothered opponents by overplaying,” Smith wrote. “The idea was to cut off the passing lanes and make it hard to complete even the simplest pass. This was unheard of at the time, really the first instance of man pressure as we know it. The closest things to it it was Henry Iba’s 2- Defense at Oklahoma State, which was a half-court man-to-man pressure defense, but the Kansas defense was a far more extreme version.”

Charlie Hoag, also member of the 1952 team, said the new pressure defense ignited the Jayhawks.

“Other coaches started saying we picked up our opponents when they got off the bus, and stayed on ‘em,” Hoag told the Topeka Capital-Journal in 2000. “We put pressure on all over the court, and we started running more on offense, and it paid off. We beat K-State by 17 and OSU by 20 in return games.”

Jerry Waugh, a former player under Allen and assistant coach under Harp, talked about Harp’s defensive innovation at his memorial service in 2000.

"Doc Allen received most of the credit, and rightfully so, but Dick was very instrumental," Waugh said. "In the middle of the season, that team was struggling a little bit. Doc said to Dick, 'We gotta change something.'

"Dick came up with a half-court pressure defense, and that really seemed to pick up the offense as the team went on to its championship ways. Those of us who played knew what Dick meant to that team.

"Dick understood early that the game was changing," Waugh added. "As I recall, Doc was in the twilight of his career and was standing pat on what had made him successful. Dick saw the future, where the game was going.

"Dean (Smith) took a lot of what he learned from Dick Harp, in the strategies of the game and techniques of teaching. And then you find Roy Williams working with Dean, so you see those things coming back here (to KU)."

Harp’s innovation worked wonders. KU won 13 straight games en route to the national championship before winning two more consecutive games in the U.S. Olympic Playoffs before falling to Peoria, 62-60. The Jayhawks, indeed, qualified for the 1952 Olympic Games as Allen predicted during his recruiting pitch to Lovellette, Kenney, Hougland and Lienhard.

Harp said that defense invigorated the 1952 team and gave it some much-needed confidence.

“Probably as much as the new defense helped, the change itself gave the kids new enthusiasm,” Harp told Blair Kerkhoff in his 1996 book on Phog Allen. “We spent most of our time in practice on it. As soon as we started playing that, opponents knew we were doing something different. They began to think when they played us they needed a new offense. It played right into our hands. We had a new enthusiasm, a new perspective.”

Smith wrote that “the Kansas defense had a lasting influence on the game.”

Coaches like John Wooden and San Francisco’s Phil Woolpert copied Harp’s defense to win championships of their own with Wooden winning 10 NCAA titles, including a record seven straight and Woolpert claiming consecutive titles with USF in 1955 and 1956.

In fact, during the summer of 1953, the 38-year-old Woolpert visited Lawrence and studied Harp’s pressing defense.

James W. Johnson wrote about this in “The Dandy Dons.”

“Woolpert wanted to get firsthand knowledge of the press from Kansas coach Phog Allen’s astute assistant coach, Dick Harp. He told Harp, ‘I have a guy named Bill Russell coming, and he’s going to be a great shot blocker.’”

Wooden once said the “arrival of the Kansas pressure defense was one of the turning points in college basketball.”

Smith agrees.

“The defense stood the test of time, too,” Smith wrote. “This is how innovative it truly was. Almost exactly 40 years later in the 1991 Final Four, I couldn’t help but notice that all four teams — Carolina, Duke, Las Vegas, and Kansas — used schemes that stemmed from that first Kansas pressure defense.”

At the 1991 Final Four, Smith gave credit to Harp for starting the pressure defense and revolutionizing the game.

"It began with Dick Harp at Kansas in 1952," Smith told the Deseret News. "Harp was an assistant coach to Dr. Allen, and he taught ball-to-man pressure defense to the team. ..."I don't know if anyone is old enough to remember back to 1953, when Kansas played Washington in the (national) semifinals, but that was the game when Washington couldn't get off a shot at the start of the game.”

KU used that pressure defense under Harp to advance to the NCAA Finals in 1953 before losing to Indiana.

By the time KU won the national championship in 1952 and the latter years of Allen’s illustrious coaching career, the game was changing for him. While he was still a brilliant motivator, Harp was the one running the show. His former players speak of this fact and Harp’s influence on the actual coaching and game strategy.

“Coach Allen was the psychologist of the team and got you read to play, but  Dick Harp was the man who mapped the strategy,” said Al Kelley, a member of the ‘52 title team.

“If hadn’t been for Dick Harp, we wouldn’t have won the national championship.” Lienhard said boldly.

Charlie Hoag said Allen hit his head three or four years before Hoag joined the team in 1951, which may have caused some repurcussions.

”While he was still a great organizer and motivatior, to me, the game was passing him by,” Hoag said in Mark Stallard's 2005 book, "Tales of the Jayhawks Hardwood." “He was trying to do the things when I first got there that he was doing back in 1930 or 1935. The old Hank Iba/Phog Allen type of offense, you couldn’t win with it really, although they did. But it could be beaten."

But with Harp’s arrival at KU in 1948 as assistant, the Jayhawks became a much better team and eventually a national championship squad.

“Dick Harp turned out to be very important for Kansas basketball and to Phog Allen. He was able to do some of  the innovations, the little changes in defense, that Phog wasn’t capable of doing,” Hoag said.

“The game had passed Phog, by really, is what happened. He was a great motivator, did great things for the University of Kansas, but we could not have won a national championship without Dick Harp,” said Hoag, echoing Lienhard’s comments.

“And that’s a fact. I’m very strong about that, but I also realized the importance of Phog Allen.”

“I would never say anything that would take anything from Phog,” Hoag added. “... Phog was a great leader, a great inspiration and a great motivator, but we needed Dick.”

Lienhard couldn't agree more.

"Dick was one of the most underrated coaches the college game has ever seen," Lienhard said in 2000 after Harp died. "He developed the defensive scheme which led us to the national championship and which Dean Smith took and refined so productively at North Carolina after learning it as a KU player under Dick and Doc (Allen)."

And all Jayhawks fans and the college basketball world should be ever thankful to Dick Harp for revolutionizing the game.

"Dick Harp has to be vindicated"

I wrote about former KU great Nolen Ellison and ex-KU head coach Dick Harp in my April 25, 2019 blog regarding my Where Are They Now? Interview with Ellison in 2003 and then my three-hour interview with him in 2007, where he elaborated on Harp and how committed he was to racial justice and equality. I also wrote of Harp's coaching career at Mount Oread.

Here is more sccop from my interviews with Nolen, who thought so highly of Dick Harp. After graduating from KU in the early 1960s as one of the best and one of the most underrated players in KU history (1,000+ point scorer), Nolen continued his success by becoming president of two community colleges and was once named one of the top black educators in America. Nolen and Dick Harp are two of my heroes, and I think back to both of my interviews with Nolen with great fondness. I also think fondly of his late brother Butch, who joined Nolen and I for part of our great interview in 2007.

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“Dick Harp has to be vindicated in Lawrence, KS, I believe, because he before it was popular and he did it because it was the right thing to do, he recruited what he considered the best basketball players,” Ellison said. “He got let down because those players he recruited, particulary from the East Coast, were used to a different lifestyle. When he brought them to Lawrence, some of them wanted to date white girls. And boy that was clearly a no-no.  

“So he put a set of personal values on these kids that didn’t fit the norm he was living in, nor the pressures he felt he was having to accept. I believe it was in that context that Dick ended up a fairly bitter man in the end--about  basketball and about society.”

Ellison continued:

“After Wilt Chamberlain left (in 1958), something happened, either Dick saw something in Wilt Chamberlain and the guys out of Philadephia (who played at KU). ... I fit in because I was in Fellowship of Christian Athletes, Young Life, Campus Crusade, and all of the stuff was who I was in high school. I thought I communicated with Dick quite well and maybe he didn’t see me as the quite the challenge that he might have seen Maurice King.”

Ellison said he and Harp had an “exceptional relationship,” built in large part on their strong belief in racial equality and justice.

“Dick Harp was a wonderful human being,” Ellison said. “He was a good coach and a terribly tolerant coach who helped carry KU basketball into the 21st tradition, both with the recruitment of Wilt Chamberlain and opening for KU the real era of integrated basketball. He was a good shaper, molder of men, and he had a representative record there at the university.”

Both Nolen Ellison and Dick Harp left a lasting legacy at KU that can never be forgotten.

For the love of Jared

This following 2005 article in Kansas City Sports & Fitness is one of the most inspirational stories I’ve ever written in nearly 25 years in the writing profession. It was about a wonderful man named Tom Coones, who competed in the Kansas City Mid-America chapter of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Team in Training. Tom was the first person in the Mid-America chapter to win the TNT Triple Crown award. At the time of our interview, Coones, who first ran the New York City Marathon in 1991, had participated in 10 events (eight marathons and two triathlons) and was set to complete the 100-mile bike ride in June in Nevada.

He competed for his son Jared, who was diagnosed at age 2 with acute lymphocytic leukemia (ALL). He was devastated after hearing the diagnosis, but decided to channel his tears and heartbreak into a positive channel and compete with The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Team in Training. At the time of this story, Tom had raised about $100,000 since 1991.

Sadly and painfully, Jared died on Oct. 5, 1998. But his dad persisted in his fight and continued to compete in the program. He told me he runs “in memory of my son,” but I wrote  he “also competes for the 700,000 Americans living with blood cancer, including the local “Honored Patients” he’s matched up with. It is Jared, though, who provides his greatest inspiration.”

I have so much respect and true admiration for Tom Coones, who pushed the limits of his body and the human spirit to compete for his son and all those living with blood cancer. He competed each time wearing Jared’s picture button by his heart.

Here’s how I ended the story:

“What’s really neat is people will come up to me and say, ‘You’re Jared’s dad,’” Coones said.  “That’s the best thing anybody can say to me.”

Tom, you are my hero and a hero to so many people, including Jared, whose spirit and soul will live with you forever. I encourage many more people to get involved with the The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Team in Training. It is an amazing program that is working to save countless lives. 

I was deeply humbled and flattered when Tom called me up after the story came out and left a heartfelt phone message:

"I wanted to let you know that I thought you did a great job with the article. My wife even commented how nice a job of telling our story you did. Thank you for helping us spread the word out about TNT. Hopefully we will get some participants from the article. Thanks again for taking the time to put the article together. I hope our paths cross again. Warmest regards, Tom.”

I appreciated Tom’s kindness so much. Here is that 2005 story in Kansas City Sports & Fitness on Tom Coones.

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“Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.”

--Morrie Schwartz in Mitch Albom’s runaway bestseller Tuesdays with Morrie.

Sept. 28, 1990. 

 

For Tom Coones, this date is indelibly etched in his mind. That’s when his 2-year-old son Jared was diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia (ALL). Coones was immediately overwhelmed with tears and heartache.

“I think the emotions were just shock and disbelief,” Coones recalled recently from his home in Olathe. “It was devastation. My first thought was that he was going to die soon. It was hard to come to grips with that.”

However, his devastation and sadness quickly turned to hope once he found out that over 80 percent of children with ALL survive. Coones and his wife, Jayne, hoped and prayed that Jared would be one of these kids. 

About six months later, Coones read a company newsletter about The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Team in Training (Kansas City Mid-America chapter) looking for people to train and run the New York City Marathon in November 1991. TNT is the world's largest endurance sports training program, and the leading fundraising campaign of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Participants receive personalized coaching and training to run or walk a marathon, cycle a century bike ride or do a triathlon. In return, the competitors raise funds to invest in research to find cures for blood cancers and help improve the lives of patients and their families.

Coones, 45, felt getting involved was the perfect way to help Jared and hopefully find a cure for leukemia. So he ran the New York City Marathon in 1991, and hasn’t stopped running and competing since. Nearly 14 years later, Coones has participated in 10 events (eight marathons and two triathlons), and when he completes the 100-mile bike ride June 5th in Lake Tahoe, Nev., Coones will become the first person in the Mid-America chapter to win the TNT Triple Crown award.

“That’s kind of special,” said Coones, who has raised about $100,000 since 1991.

And he does it all with love for Jared, who battled valiantly for eight years before his death on Oct. 5, 1998. While he runs “in memory of my son,” Coones also competes for the 700,000 Americans living with blood cancer, including the local “Honored Patients” he’s matched up with. It is Jared, though, who provides his greatest inspiration.  

Whenever he hits the “wall” in training or competing in a marathon or triathlon, he thinks of his late son. He remembers the day Jared was diagnosed, his fearless courage, his magnetic smile, his laugh, his love for pumpkins and total zest for life. Coones touches the button by his heart with a picture of Jared and recalls his pride and joy who never complained once about his chemotherapy treatment, even when undergoing a bone marrow transplant in 1994. He’ll close his eyes, call Jared’s name out loud, and say a prayer and ask him “for some strength and courage to keep moving.”

 

 So Coones takes that next step. He pushes on. He celebrates Jared’s life and memory.

 

“I couldn’t even begin to compare any kind of physical discomfort of training or even doing one of these events to what Jared went through, and all patients, what they go through,” Coones said. “If it somehow helps maybe pushing us towards getting a cure, I can do that. That’s my contribution.”

Coones, help desk manager for Yellow Roadway Technologies, urges others to join the TNT family and become part of the mission and change their lives forever. Kristen Johnson, development director for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Mid-America chapter, feels blessed to have such a caring person as Coones contributing to the cause.

“He’s a real unique individual,” Johnson said. “He’s an amazing human being.”

Coones, who has made a lifetime of friends training and competing these past 14 years with TNT, admits he questioned himself about doing another TNT event after Jared passed away. When Jared was alive, Coones said running a marathon affirmed that his son “was doing good and continuing to stay strong.”  He didn’t know if he had the strength or will to compete in the marathon in San Diego without Jared, just a year after his death.

But he did.  

 

“My wife and I had talked about it, and we knew that Jared would want me to keep going and to know that our work isn’t done yet until we can stop this disease,” Coones said softly.

He now paused for a few moments; his voice began to crack. “Going back in 1999 with him in heaven was hard,” Coones said.

Life hasn’t exactly been easy for Coones these past three years, either. Jayne, who walked a marathon in Oregon for TNT in 1997, has had a “pretty challenging ride herself” since being diagnosed with breast cancer in 2002. Jayne has had two recurrences of the cancer since then, and currently goes in for treatment once a week. Coones said his wife showed the same strength and courage in fighting cancer that Jared had.

 

 “In some ways, he really prepared us for this battle and journey that Jayne’s in right now, just everything that he went through,” Coones said.

Coones, who never dreamed of running a marathon before joining TNT, uses his training as a way of dealing with these tough times. He has greatly improved his life in how he copes with his emotions.

“When Jared was going through his fight, having that physical outlet probably helped me more than I realized,” said Coones, who has two kids: Meghan, 15, and John Jared, 4. “It kept me strong when I needed to be there for my family. I think I’ve found that to be true now as I’ve continued.”

With all that Coones and his family have endured, he views each day as a great gift. Coones has learned to savor the moment, to enjoy each breath, and live each day with hope and wonder.

 “Overall, I think, without a doubt, it’s really increased my perspective and strengthened my faith, and just helped me appreciate what’s important in life — your family, your friends, and relationships you develop,” Coones said. “That’s really what it’s about.”

After completing the 100-mile bike ride in Lake Tahoe, Coones is aiming to tackle the New York City Marathon again next year. After all, he promised Jared many years ago that they’d both run in New York when he turned 18, which is the required minimum age to run the New York City Marathon.

“That was my goal, my dream,” Coones said.

 So Coones plans to be in New York and run for Jared, who would have been 18 next year. He could have it no other way. And he’s not going to hold back and stop there. Not now, not after all these years. He has to keep running, biking, and swimming. Coones wants to continue Jared’s legacy and spirit, and keep stretching the unlimited possibilities of the mind.

“I can’t imagine not doing it,” he said. “Until we get to that point where we can say we’ve stopped the disease or there’s a cure, maybe that will be the time when I can stop participating. It still helps me. Even after six years since his passing, he’s still a big part of my life. I know he’d want me to be out there.”

And each time he competes, Coones will wear Jared’s picture button by his heart, so he’s never too far away.

“What’s really neat is people will come up to me and  say, ‘You’re Jared’s dad,’” Coones said.  “That’s the best thing anybody can say to me.”

Kim Seeley overcame diabetes to make her mark in the fitness world

I used to write about fitness competitors for Kansas City Sports & Fitness Magazine. I met some amazing people who pushed the limits of the human boundaries and excelled in fitness. I even got an opportunity to interview Tonya Knight at her home in Kansas City and write a long feature on her, the famous bodybuilder and 1980s cover girl who appeared on the TV show American Gladiator. Tonya, who was pregnant at the time, told me how thrilled she was to have a baby after years of being unable to become pregnant while competing.

However, the most inspirational fitness competitor I ever wrote about was Kim Seeley, who overcame type-two diabetes to make her mark in the fitness profession. I interviewed Kim in 2001 at a restaurant in the KC Country Club Plaza. She was charming, very kind, and personable. She told me her story, opened up to me about her childhood regrets, and spoke about her perseverance and how fitness had transformed her life. I believe I was the first person to feature Kim in a publication, after she finished an impressive 10th place at the nationally televised Ms. Fitness show in Las Vegas and first at a regional show in Colorado.

She told me her dream was to achieve her pro card.

“That would be my ultimate goal to become pro,” Kim said with a smile.

Her dreams came true four years later in 2005 when she received her pro card at the USA’s in Las Vegas, where she placed second. Success couldn’t have come to a nicer and more dedicated person and athlete. In the December 2005 issue of hardfitness.com, the author wrote that Kim “has always been a dedicated competitor despite her diabetic problems. She is an example of what the fitness world needs.”

Kim wrote in that issue about her journey to receiving her pro card and how she wanted to be an example for others:

“After I earned my pro card, I vowed to become a voice for diabetes education. I figured this was what I was meant to do. I have been given the opportunity to speak at conferences in regard to athletic training and diabetes management. I get countless emails from both type ones and two’s. I have had the pleasure of mentoring some up and coming type one diabetic figure competitors. There is so much you can do with a pro card beyond the 2 minutes on stage. It’s our day to day lives where most of the benefits unfold. Some girls journey ends with a pro card . . . but for me, my journey has just begun.”

Kim’s journey since then then has been one of true inspiration as she rose to the top of the fitness profession. I was so happy for her and so grateful our paths crossed in 2001 during our interview at that restaurant on the Plaza. Thanks Kim for sharing your truly remarkable story with me and for the kind thank-you call after the article was published.

Here is that 2001 story on Kim Seeley in Kansas City Sports & Fitness.

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Kim Seeley was a promising athlete and track star when she became first diagnosed with diabetes at 13. A rebellious teenager, she wound up quitting track and eventually began a vicious downward cycle of drinking and partying in college.

“Because the disease was so hard to handle with taking shots, eating, having low blood sugars, high blood sugars, I quit every athletic endeavor that I wanted to be involved in,” Seeley said. “For a lot of years, I was not healthy. I was not happy with my physique. I was not happy with my health at all.”

She adds softly and poignantly:

“As poorly as I was in control of my disease, I didn’t particularly want to die either.”

So Seeley decided to change her life forever. She began lifting weights five years ago, and for the past three years, she’s been competing in fitness contests. Not only has Seeley transformed her appearance, but the fit and toned beauty is now one of the top fitness competitors in the Midwest. Seeley recently finished an impressive 10th place at the nationally televised Ms. Fitness show in Las Vegas.

“That was my greatest thrill,” said Seeley, who remarked that her goal entering the national show was to place at least 15th. “They have all the competitors standing out there, and they call you by your state first. When they said, ‘And from Missouri,’ I knew I was the only person from Missouri. I was so overwhelmed. That right there was the best feeling ever. It was pretty awesome.”

Seeley, who just completed her heavy competition season (June-September), is taking a couple of weeks off before lifting weights and training again. She’s in the gym five days a week for two hours each during the off season, and works out five days a week for four hours during heaving training periods. The strawberry blonde, blue-eyed Raytown, Mo. resident (5-5, 132) said she’d like to gain five more pounds and switch fitness organizations from Ms. Fitness to NPC (National Physique Committee).

“That would be my ultimate goal to become pro,” Seeley said, smiling.

And don’t count her out. Seeley, 32, is used to defying the odds and triumphing over the human spirit. She feels she has great ground to make up from quitting sports and succumbing to her disease nearly 20 years ago.

“It’s a huge regret,” Seeley said. “Maybe that’s why I’m so strong founded about his now to be successful. I regret that painfully. Once I got control of the disease, I said, ‘I’m going to be the athlete I always thought I could have been or should have been as a kid.’ I’m doing it late. It’s never too late to live out your dreams.”

Yes indeed.

Seeley began competing in regional fitness shows in 1999 after working out in the gym and reading Oxygen magazine. A light flashed in her mind.

“I remember seeing the pictures of these women,” Seeley said. “I thought these are beautiful women that are sexy. I said, ‘Oh my God, that’s what I want to look like.’’’

Seeley realizes how far she’s come since her first Ms. Fitness national show in Las Vegas three years ago, where she placed 38th out of 45 women.

“I wasn’t dead last, but I learned an awful lot,” Seeley said, laughing. “It was horrible. I went in there not knowing anything. I was the only person who used the tanning bed instead of the tanning products. I was the only person in my routine that didn’t smile because I was so scared.”

Despite her relatively poor performance, Seeley was determined to improve. Now, she’s ecstatic about the results.

“I’m very confident,” she said. “It’s like a complete miraculous change. It’s taken time. I tell any new fitness competitor that it doesn’t happen over night. From that first year to my third year, I’m very confident in whatever I do.”

Seeley’s comfort and confidence have grown since hiring two personal trainers and a professional choreographer from Hollywood. This vigorous training helped propel her to 10th place in Las Vegas recently and first place at a regional show in Colorado a few months ago.

“I was literally jumping up and down,” Seeley said about winning the Colorado show. “I had no idea that I had done that well. I was shocked that I had won.”

While Seeley admits it’s very difficult managing her diabetes and competing in fitness shows, she said it’s not impossible. She urges all people to adopt fitness as a way of life.

“My health is a lot better, tons better,” Seeley said. “I plan on living a lot longer, and I think fitness plays a huge role in my longevity. It’s completely changed my life and I don’t ever want to stop. I encourage other people to get their butts in the gym and get fit as well. ... It comes from within. You got to want to do it for yourself, not for your husband, not for your wife, because that’s not going to last if you do it for someone else. It has to be completely for you.”

After years of saying, ‘I can’t’ because of diabetes, Seeley now adopts the phrase, ‘I will.’ She’s learned many invaluable life lessons about herself from overcoming adversity.

“No matter what’s happened to you in your life or what’s been dished to you, you can find a way to achieve your goals and dreams to never give up,” Seeley said. “It’s never too late. I don’t think most people believe in themselves enough to push forward. People make excuses for themselves, and I was the biggest excuse maker of all. The person who is sitting here today is not the same person who was sitting in this same place four or five years ago. I’m a totally different human being.”

Michelle Reiter was a great role model and ambassador as a Kansas City Chiefs cheerleader

I had the great pleasure and fortune to write features on some Chiefs players and cheerleaders in the late 1990s. I had a wonderful long sit-down interview with offensive lineman Glenn Parker at a car dealership as he talked about his charity work with Special Olympics and what being named Chiefs MVP meant to him. He couldn't have been any nicer to me.

The cheerleaders I interviewed were great ambassadors and role models as well who did so much service work in the community. They credited then-Cheer Director Elaine Hart for shaping them and the influence she had on their lives.

My favorite interview and feature was on Michelle Reiter in 1999 for Kansas City Sports & Fitness. We had a great interview at the old Borders in Lawrence. I was immediately impressed with Michelle. She smiled throughout the interview and was just such a genuine and kind person. I loved how she talked about how her upbringing by her parents in Beloit helped shaped her as a human being, how they taught her to respect “all people, no matter if it’s someone who owns a large corporation or is a janitor for that building.”

That’s the kind of values Michelle has. She treats other people how she’d like to be treated, something that I believe all people should do but don’t always. I reconnected with Michelle many years ago on Facebook when she lived in California. We’ve corresponded ever since from time to time, and she now lives and works in Kansas City. I can honestly say Michelle is one of the kindest, genuine and positive people I’ve ever met. I'm proud to call her my friend. I love how she always wishes me a Happy Birthday on Facebook each year, and that makes me feel special.

I was also humbled by the very kind testimonial Michelle wrote about me on LinkedIn in 2016 regarding how she pleased she was with my story on her in 1999 and the way I conducted the interview:

"I had the privilege to be interviewed by David for a story he wrote on me as a Kansas City Chiefs Cheerleader for the Kansas City Sports & Fitness magazine. David did a great job interviewing me and made the conversation flow easily. He was very professional, asked great questions that were portrayed well in the article, and had a nice, easy-going personality which made people feel very comfortable. I enjoyed reading the article and felt that it was an excellent representation of myself and the Kansas City Chiefs Cheerleading organization. I highly recommend David for his professionalism, creative writing talents, and his strong work ethic." 

She also completely flattered me when she wrote on Facebook in 2018 that I was an “inspiration” and thanked me for “sharing your talents.”

Thanks so much for your kindness Michelle and for our interview back in 1999. Meeting and knowing great people like you has made my longtime writing career much more rewarding and gratifying!

Here is that story I wrote on Michelle in 1999 for Kansas City Sports & Fitness.

...

Michelle Reiter’s life changed forever when she was selected as a Kansas Chiefs cheerleader five years ago.

Reiter, who didn’t even think she’d make the team, feels blessed to be representing the Chiefs on and off the field. She loves lending a hand to the community and helping such worthy causes as the Fox 4 Love Fund for Children.  

“We do hundreds of appearances each year,” Reiter said. “There’s way more to it than just dancing and performing. That’s what I thought it was when I first got into it. But as you do it more and more, you just realize what a life-changing event it is.” 

Reiter credits Elaine Hart (Chiefs Cheerleader Director and owner of HARTBEAT Productions) for help shaping her identity and challenging all the cheerleaders to “find our own inner strength and spirituality.”  

“I think that’s good because it relates well to us in what we do in being servants to the community and ambassadors for the Chiefs,” Reiter said. “She’s a wonderful person.”

Reiter, 25, can certainly identify with the significance of HARTBEAT Productions’ motto — “Leadership from the Heart.” She mentioned that Hart actually had a little analogy this year in saying “High Five from the Heart.”  

“Each finger represents something that we do, like integrity or reaching out to the community,” Reiter said. “It’s all from the heart.”  

Reiter, who smiles when saying the cheerleaders sometimes give each other high-fives, now uses the leadership skills she’s developed with the Chiefs in her job as interim fitness director of the KU FIT program at Kansas University. Reiter receives a “real high” in seeing people adopt fitness as a way of life, and is constantly encouraging her staff of instructors and personal trainers to raise the self esteem of each participant.  

“I stress that not everyone is at the same aerobic level,” Reiter said. “I tell them just to encourage each and everyone in the class to hang in there if they’re not doing so well. Maybe it’s just a glance or touching someone’s shoulder during class and saying, ‘You can do it.’ Just taking the extra time to touch the most people in class as possible.”

As the youngest of six children growing up in Beloit, Reiter has always made time for others. Her parents taught her to respect “all people, no matter if it’s someone who owns a large corporation or is a janitor for that building.” She was also impacted throughout the years by such mentors as her two older sisters, Shannon Bollman (former director of KU FIT and ex-Chiefs cheerleader), college professors, Dr. Kenneth Cooper (he first coined the term “aerobics” in 1968), and, of course, Hart.  

 

Thus, it shouldn’t be surprising that Reiter keeps the following inspirational quote in her office: “In the end, leaders are much like eagles...they don’t flock, you find them one at a time.”

And what does this personally mean to Reiter? Her voice now grows soft with meaning:

“In your life, lots of people come in and out. But there are certain ones that really influence you and change your life.”

My tribute to former great KU assistant coach Sam Miranda

In Part II on Sam Miranda, I write about my tribute to him after he passed in 2009. This was published in Jayhawk Illustrated.

...

The news hit me hard and sharp, jolting me wide awake in the late night hours on May 29.

It was near 3 a.m. when I went online and read that former KU assistant basketball coach Sam Miranda had died of cancer the previous day at age 78. I stayed awake the rest of the evening and the next day with Miranda occupying all my thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

Miranda was not just a Jayhawk assistant under Ted Owens from 1964-77. He was a legendary recruiter and master teacher who won over recruits and players with his supreme salesmanship, enthusiasm, persistence, tireless work ethic, honesty, and demanding tough love.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Miranda in November of 2000 for a Where Are They Now? feature for Jayhawk Insider magazine. I’ve often thought of that interview the last decade and how much fun I had hearing Miranda’s recruiting stories. And I thought Sam enjoyed reminiscing about his KU days maybe just as much.

He was full of energy that night, full of life, full of love and passion for his family and Kansas basketball. While he was no longer affiliated with KU after he resigned in 1977, Miranda never once stopped believing, cheering, and supporting the school he gave his heart and soul to for 13 years.

He laughed some while recalling his recruiting stories of former Jayhawks like Rick Suttle, Roger Morningstar, Tom Kivisto and Dale Greenlee — four of my first KU basketball heroes and stars on the 1973-74 Final Four team.

These were players I put on a pedestal; they became larger than life to me as a very impressionable 7-year-old boy growing up in Lawrence. They could simply do no wrong. At the time, I gave no thought as to how these players arrived at KU or who was responsible in recruiting them. Heck, I was too young to think about that. I just watched in awe and wonder as Suttle and company drove KU on a magical ride to the Final Four. 

Years later, I became a diligent student of KU basketball history and read voraciously every book and article I could find about the Jayhawks’ past. That’s when I learned about Miranda’s influence on KU basketball, how he started the Illinois pipeline to Kansas and got Jo Jo White to sign with Kansas without ever seeing him play in person. 

Then I had the good fortune to interview Miranda and many of his former players in the late 1990s and early 2000s, and learned even more about this unsung hero of Kansas basketball.

In 2000, he was voted by a blue-ribbon Jayhawk panel as the best assistant coach in Kansas basketball history.

 “There’s been a lot of fine, fine coaches, and whomever that panel was, I appreciate their thoughtfulness very much,” Miranda told me in our interview in 2000. “That’s a fine honor when you think of 103 years of Kansas basketball, and to be selected as the top person, that’s quite a good feeling.”

Miranda’s basketball roots were planted in Collinsville, Ill., where he was Prep Player of the Year for the St. Louis metro area his junior year of high school in 1947 and named first-team All-State in 1948. Miranda, who was inducted as a player into the Illinois Basketball Coaches Hall of Fame in 1973, became a star guard at Indiana under legendary coach Branch McCracken. He earned second-team all-Big Ten honors as a junior in 1951 and was named first-team Little All-American in 1951 and 1952.

Miranda’s dribbling ability gained national acclaim; in 1950, he was selected to demonstrate ball handling skills in a General Mills educational sports film. After his senior year in 1952, Miranda toured against the Harlem Globetrotters as a member of the College All-Star team.

 He spent two years in the U.S. Army before embarking on a coaching career in the Illinois high school ranks for eight years, where he built lasting relationships and contacts with his players and fellow coaches. Miranda then became an assistant coach at New Mexico for two years before new KU head coach Ted Owens hired him as his top aide in 1964 after taking over for Dick Harp.

Miranda actually first met Owens (KU assistant at the time under Harp) for about five minutes when he was an assistant at New Mexico during a trip to Lawrence, where he was scouting the Jayhawks in preparation for the Lobos game with Kansas in Albuquerque on Dec. 19, 1963.

New Mexico won, 59-54.

“That was the biggest game and biggest win the University of New Mexico ever had up to that point by far,” Miranda said.

After that 1963-64 season, Miranda stopped at an interstate restaurant north of Chicago on a recruiting trip and picked up the paper and read that Harp had resigned and Owens was the new KU head coach.

“I just thought at the time, ‘Man, what a great break for Ted. A relatively young person to get that kind of job,’” Miranda said. “And then about four or five days later, I got a call from him in regards to (joining his staff). He wanted to recruit the Illinois and St. Louis area, where I had some success recruiting. He came out to Albuquerque and we visited a night or so. I came back the next weekend (to Lawrence) and looked around and decided to come to KU.”

Miranda went right to work, securing a commitment from fellow Collinsville native and high school All-American Rodger Bohnenstiehl, and then soon lured White from St. Louis.

He was just beginning. 

Focusing primarily in the Illinois and St. Louis area, Miranda brought in a boatload of talent from Illinois the next 13 years. In fact, the 1974 Final Four team comprised 10 players from Illinois, including seven of the top eight.

"I was from Illinois and knew it was a great basketball state," Miranda once told writer Taylor Bell of the Chicago Sun-Times. "I knew a lot of high school coaches. I figured we had to outwork people. I was on the phone every night from 7 to 10 talking to players in Illinois. We had practice on Friday afternoon. Afterward, I'd catch a flight in Kansas City, fly to Illinois, see a game, visit with parents, 

go to dinner, then fly back on a 12:45 flight to Kansas City."

Miranda simply outworked his competition. He was quite passionate about recruiting. 

“I enjoyed recruiting,” Miranda told me. “It’s a challenge. You go in a home the summer time prior to their senior year. You’re in there with all the big schools and you’re trying to be one of the five to come out and visit your school. When you walk out on a summer evening, you know if you’ve done a good or bad job. It’s an exhilarating feeling when you walk out and you’ve done a good job of recruiting and get the kid to commit and say, ‘Yes, I’ll come visit Kansas.’”

Bell said Miranda was peerless in his profession.

“Since I began covering high school sports in the 1950s, I've become acquainted with the process and some of the best football and basketball recruiters who ever persuaded a highly impressionable teenager to leave his family, friends and hometown for a name on a map that the youngster didn't know existed. In some cases, there wasn't even a name,” Bell wrote.

“Sam Miranda was the best of all. ... Miranda built Kansas into a Final Four program in the 1970s by recruiting many of the best high school players in Illinois, including Springfield's Dave Robisch, East Aurora's Tom Kivisto, Collinsville's Rodger Bohnenstiehl, Kenwood's Donnie Von Moore and Kewanee's Tommie Smith. He set the standard for recruiters who followed him. He wrote the book. Nobody worked harder. In an era where there were virtually no restrictions on recruiting, Miranda literally camped out on a recruit's doorstep. Before anyone else, he understood the two most important axioms of recruiting: 

“1. The first coach in the door usually is the one who signs the kid.

2. You must learn who will make the final decision—athlete, father, mother, grandmother, uncle, high school coach, AAU coach—and form a close relationship.”

Miranda spoke to me about that recruiting philosophy.

“In recruiting, I always thought in any family, there’s basically one person who is the key person in recruiting the youngster,” Miranda said. “You recruit the young man and then you recruit the person who is going to help (him) make that decision.”

In Suttle’s case, Miranda won over his mother’s respect. Suttle was leaning towards Jacksonville, which had been to the Final Four in 1970, before eventually signing with KU.

“I recruited him hard for three years,” Miranda said. “Finally in the end, (Suttle’s mom) said, ‘You’re going with Sam. That’s it.’ ... She just had confidence in us.”

Miranda landed White through the confidence and trust of his high school coach, Jodie Bailey.

“About the third or fourth time I was back to see Jo Jo, we’re at a restaurant talking and I’m going over why I thought he should come to Kansas and everything,” Miranda said. “Jodie Bailey was sitting there and he said, ‘Jo Jo, that sounds good to me.’ And that was it. That kind of sealed it.”

There was another reason why White signed with Kansas.

"I went to Kansas because I couldn't talk to any other coaches. I was always on the phone with Sam," Bell reported White once saying.

While Miranda was instrumental in recruiting and signing countless prospects over the years, he selflessly credited Owens for KU’s recruiting success.

“Of course, the head coach is naturally the vital guy because he’s got to make an impression,” Miranda said. “I don’t care how good an assistant coach is in recruiting, if the head coach doesn’t make a great impression, it’s going to be hard to get the kid. And Ted always did a great job recruiting.”

With his fierce coaching personality, Miranda was the perfect blend to Owens. As former Jayhawks like to say, Owens was the nice “good cop,” while Miranda played the “bad cop” role.

“Owens was the nice guy that tried to be mean,” Morningstar said. “We all kind of laughed at. Coach Miranda, you never looked at crosswise. He had the fear of God in all of us.”

But he also had the unyielding respect and love of all his players.

Just ask Morningstar.

“He was a great guy and meant so much to a lot of us,” Morningstar wrote me in an email after Miranda’s death.

Just ask former KU center Roger Brown.

 

Brown was one of countless post players who made huge strides under Miranda’s tutelage. Brown credits Miranda, who worked primarily with KU’s big men — as a key factor in his development.

“He said (during the recruiting process) he was going to be out there every day working with me,” Brown said during an interview in 2002. “I didn’t take him seriously. I just took it in passing, but when I got there and realized how intense he was as a coach and that he was true to his word, I said, ‘OK, then.’

“He spent a lot of time with me and Dave (Robisch) every day. I think that was a big factor in my development. I think that was a major thing that he gave attention to all the players, especially the big men.  I think that was instrumental.”  

Just ask Von Moore.

“If it wasn’t for Sam I would not have ever gotten off the bench at Kansas,” Von Moore commented last April in Suntimes.com after a story on Miranda. “I can still hear those familiar words: ‘Don't you think we should put Donnie in the game.’ Every time he said it Ted would put me in the game. He taught me how to play the game and believed in me. But most importantly he taught me honor, dignity and respect. He was my role model and I carry a part of him with me to this very day. When I coach and when I teach. 

“What a gift. Thanks Sam.”

Just ask Greenlee.

“Sam Miranda is one of the finest men I have ever known,” Greenlee commented in Suntimes.com in May. “I had broken my ankle my senior year of high school playing football, so all of the colleges that had been recruiting me for basketball backed off. My high school football coach in Rockford, Illinois, Bill Swaby, grew up with Coach Miranda in Collinsville, and got Sam to take a look at me. Coach showed faith in me and allowed me to come to KU for a fantastic four years of my life. Best break I ever had. Thanks Coach Miranda, for everything. 

“You're the best!”

Just ask Bohnenstiehl.

“Sam was a great man to play for,” Bohnestiehl said during an interview in 2003. “He made you work. He was very disciplined. You had to work hard.”

Just ask White.

“Ted is like a second father to me, he and coach Miranda,” White said after his jersey retirement ceremony at Allen Fieldhouse in 2003. “They (Miranda and Owens) were more than just coaches. 

They were friends to us, they were our confidant. Our relationship continues on, far beyond the KU days.”

Indeed, many of Miranda’s former players kept in touch and met with him when they visited Lawrence. Miranda cherished the lifetime relationships he built with his players and was so proud of their post-KU accomplishments.

 “I think the association with the players is probably the most important thing for any coach, really, particularly after your finished coaching,” Miranda told me. “The players that you do get and how they perform and how they work hard and how they do a great job for the university and their teammates is always something to reflect and look back on.”

“(It’s a) good feeling to see the guys go on and be successful in sports and out of sports.”

After the 1976-77 season, two Final Fours (1971 and ‘74) and 23 years in the coaching profession, Miranda left KU and went to work for Maupintour Travel. He was an outside sales manager for 17 years before retiring in 1994. 

He lived in Lawrence ever since with his wife, Polly.

“It’s been a very satisfying life,” Miranda said in 2000.

Miranda left an indelible impact with everyone he met along the way. One reader of the Respublica.com captured the sentiments of all who knew Miranda with a comment on the Illinois community blog’s website after Miranda’s death.

“Every basketball town, every town, deserves a Sam, but too few have them.”